I went for an interview with some poly students this morning and they asked me what I remembered best about Poly. Honestly, my days in poly went past really quickly. It consisted a lot of me being too busy for everything else except work and study. I hardly had time for friends, for family, for play, for rest. It was definitely not easy to juggle both school and work and I feel like slapping myself for forgetting how hard it was cause HERE I AM beginning the whole torture again by MY OWN CHOICE. I hate how I have such goldfish memory….

Anyway, they ended the interview asking for a life quote. I kinda got stuck thinking, mainly cause I slept for only 4 hours, but I’ve got many quotes on the wallpaper of my phone so here goes:

择你所爱，爱你所择。

勇敢努力。

追梦。

Choose what you love.

Love what you choose.

Be brave, work hard and

chase your dreams.

.

.

.

.

Oh right I have a more important quote on another page of wallpaper on my phone and I think this is the most important quote I should pay attention to everyday now.

It says.

P

L

E

A

S

E

.

D

I

E

E

E

E

E

T

Keyboard problems. Sorry.

But yes, I love how english words are coined up.

Its definitely no coincidence theres DIE in DIET.

Anyway, I got curious about the word, so I googled it.

I think some netizens have really good definitions to the word DIET.

So here goes…

DIET: 

a) A word used by large food corporations to deceive old/fat women and men into believing their product is actually remotely healthy. Eg. Diet coke, Diet Pepsi

(LOL. Ah I see what you’re doing there)

b) a four-letter word that often leads to deprivation, frustration and, ultimately, failure

Diet should not be in your vocabulary.

(LOLx2. I so definitely feel you.)

c) A form of torture, hence “Die” with a “t” at the end

(See.. Someone got what I really meant!)

ARGH..

Need to start DIET PLANS.

😦

I haven’t told my mum about this. So, mum if you’re like ever gonna read what Im writing online, this one’s for you.

So, heaven forbids, I’ve officially reached the age when my parents, relatives, neighbours, friends, colleagues, mum’s friends, dad’s friends, distant relatives, teachers, people whom I meet once a year, people whom I meet once in three years, people whom I’ve met for three minutes actually cares whether I AM ATTACHED.

Yea, I can even sing a song about it….

“Everywhere I go….” (Echo: Everywhere I go.. )

“People wanna know…” (Echo: People wanna know..)

“Who I AM…” (Echo: Who I am…)

“If Im attached..” (Echo: If I’m attached..)

“So I tell them…” (Echo: So I tell them..)

NO.

No.

nO.

Thanks for all the love AUNTIES and MUMMIES, for wanting to intro your son, your son’s friends, your friends, your friends’ friends, your friend’s son’s friends, your girl’s boyfriend, I meant your girl’s girlfriend’s friends’ ex-boyfriends to me. But its okay. Its really okay just to ask me things like “How’s school? How’s work?” when you see me, since we all know everyone’s just asking just for the sake of asking. Sorry thats rude, i meant asking cause you all care so much about me, REALLY. But yea, its okay if you do away with “没有带男朋友来啊” during Christmas, “你男朋友没有来啊” during CNY 2 months later,”有男朋友了吗?” when we freaking go to Chua Chu Kang to clean Ahma’s grave, “几时到你?” during a relative’s wedding 2 months later, oh and even during whoever’s funeral 3 months later too while sitting at the white table eating sweets and drinking chrysanthemum. Its really okay to skip the “几时到你？” after seeing my cousin say she’s going off soon cause she wants to watch Avengers with her boyfriend.  ITS REALLY OKAY cause when you say that it really makes me wanna look at the altar of the deceased and say ” 几时到你” too. No, Im KIDDING… Really.

Anyway, my mum’s at it again recently… Its actually been awhile since I lunched with her cause I’ve been so busy with school and work so I was really excited when I finally had time for some KFC with her. So while me and my mum and my aunt were happily eating our meals, I started telling them about my not-so-happy experiences and stressful moments in school. I finished my stories and waited for my “加油, you can do it” with my puppy-dog eyes when mum went…..

Mum: Girl ah, when are you gonna give me grandchildren?

*!!!!!!* (什么鬼～)

OS: Okay, you’re obviously not concerned about what Im facing in school but WTF, mum, how many steps did you skip? Where did the boyfriend part go? Gosh, I love how you’re so on point. LIKE, straight to child-bearing? High level of openness mum…

Me: *Tries to sound super sweet and cute* HAHA, mum, thats like NOT HAPPENING.

Mum: What? Why? 难道你喜欢女的ah? Girl, you like girls is it?

*!!!!!!* (OHMYTIAN)

Mum: If its like that, Im okay too..

*!!!!!!!!* (MY HEART STOPPED)

CHILL GIRL CHILL. BUT WTS?

Me: HUH No la! What are you thinking mum, I just cant find boyfriend~ No one wants me (OHMYTIAN MY MUM’s CRAZY)

Mum: How can it be? You tall and pretty, should be easy mah!

*-.-*

*Let have some cool music fade in cause here comes gossipy aunt*

Aunt: Ya lo! Girl ah~ Why you still no boyfriend? You know ah your mummy your age already give birth to you liao. You see your cousins all attached liao. You so pretty, how come don’t have? Impossible la!

*Rolls eyes x2 x3 x4 x5*

就是没有，没有, 没有. Dont have. 没有. 要讲多少次～没有…..

Me: *Tries to sound super sweet and cute AGAIN* Aiyo, cannot find leh.

Aunt: Okay, I help you see. Got la, a lot! Got the who and the who and the who all okay mah….

(Crap.)

Mum: Ya ya, you help her see see…. Best is 30 plus, cannot too young, then can take care of her. Older guys better, more stable..

*Rolls eyes x6 x7 x8 x9*
(Mum, Dad was older than you by 8 and you guys divorced kay! DIVORCED.)

Me: *SMILES*

Anyway, here comes the best part of the story.. My mum is so fantastic, you’ll be surprised.

NEXT DAY: On instagram’s Private Message.

“Hi, is your mum the owner of Crab at Bay?”

Me: Erm.. Ya… *thinking he probably wants to do some promotion or saw my news or tv shows somewhere about the restaurant*

“HAHA, your mum wanted to introduce you to me..”

*WAIT WHUT!!!!! REPEAT. WHAT? OMG. AWKWARD. OMG.*

I’ve no idea what my mum was thinking man. I thought she’d know better that her daughter is not a chatty person. Like I especially don’t chat with random guys over Facebook or instagram. If I do, I’d probably be attached 10 years ago when I played HABBOHOTEL and MAPLESTORY every single day. ARGH. What do you expect out of the conver mum……

“Hi, is your mum the owner of Crab at Bay?”

Me: Erm.. Ya…

“HAHA, your mum wanted to introduce you to me..”

Me: Oh..

“…..”

??@?$!$!@#!$

How…

What…

Okay.

Chill.

Relax.

I figured.

One thing for sure.

I should at least give chance, you know.

I should at least click in the profile and take a look.

Maybe I’ll know what to say from there…

Okay.. lets see.

Maybe he looks good.

Or like he might have the same interests.

Or…

He cooks?

*Rolls eyes x10*
Right. KTHXBYE.

Just so you know mum, Im always proud of you for your efficiency and effectiveness when it comes to looking for a boyfriend for your daughter.

Yes, she took one day to find me a guy.

To message me on instagram.

One day.

Well thats an obvious one!

Cause I love rainy days. Don’t you?

You’re weird if you don’t like rainy days. I mean rainy days are like so comfy, the sky’s dark, and the air’s super cool. I especially like it when it rains like how its raining now! Its raining cats and dogs!

Jeez, I love that phrase. I’ve been using this SPECIFIC TYPE of description for RAIN since my teachers taught me the phrase in primary one. Its one of the easiest but very atas way you can describe rain and it paints such a lovely nice beginning picture for your composition. See!

Okay, maybe they should have came up with something more specific, something like, ITS RAINING PERSIANS AND CHIHUAHUAS! I mean, who’s gonna want golden retrievers and labradors or huskies dropping down from the sky right? Thats probably gonna cause a higher death rate than the mosquitos flying around! Okay, on the other hand, a husky is probably worth $7k-$10k or $20k or $12.8K now and that sounds like pretty good value. Come on HUSKIES, BRING IT ON!

Oh anyway, cause I have to make my post intellectual somehow, Im gonna tell you how the phrase, “raining cats and dogs” came along. You see, houses in old England had hay roofs and that sounds like a really comfortable place to sleep in, so, guess what! JENG, their cats and dogs slept there. Unfortunately and sad enough, when these lovely pets are in deep deep sleep, like wandering off to dreamland kind of deep sleep (which you’ll know cause they kinda make hiccup sounds when they’re so soundly asleep), they’re freaking in deep shit when it rains, cause the roofs gets slippery and they would slide off and well “fall from the sky”. Ya, those poor unfortunate sleep-lacking souls… Another theory, would involve how the animals would either be washed out of the roof thatch, or rapidly abandon the thatch for better shelter when it rains.

Okay, nvm.. no-one really really cares why there’s this phrase..

Point taken. Moving on.

Anyway, I think I just heard thunder.

Oh oh, thats my tummy grumbling, sorry.

Please pardon me, cause I haven’t eaten the whole day cause it was raining. Its so nice and cold that I entitled myself to an extra 10 mins of snuggling in bed. I wasn’t expecting this, I mean, Im a GOOD GOOD KID, like I know I shouldn’t worm/snake/laze/lepak so much but but NVM, I SHALL JUST STAY IN BED, like STAY. Anyway, Im thinking if I should order Macs or cook some Korean Maggie Mee, suggestions? Both sounds really good to eat while its raining. Comfort food for my lethargic lazy body!

Ah crap, I just remembered I can’t eat that. Everywhere I’ve been, people have been telling me how I’ve put on weight. I need to stop pigging out. Look at what school and stress does to you! They make you subjective to sleep and FOOD.  Ah, talking about food, I’ve got so many types of Korean Maggie in the cupboard I’ve yet to try.. Maybe I should try the hot squid one tonight.. ARGH.. NO MAGGIE NO, you need to stop your sinister smile and stop wagging your tail at me. I said stop. Crap, did I just see my dog trying to chew on that packet of maggie I left on the kitchen floor just now! Anyway, stop it, you’re making me hungry. NO I MUST RESIST. Crap, I think the hunger’s making me hear things.

“Hey Sherraine, come over and pick me up. I know you miss me. Think about it- bouncy noodles, hot soup, spicy broth, how about adding an egg and like a few stalks of vegetables and a couple of sotong balls. Oh there’s prawn wantons in the fridge too, thats gonna go well with the soup. Hey, you’ve got frozen chicken wings! Heat it up, its gonna taste so delish! I’d suggest you to drink the chocolate drink you’ve kept from your last trip. Heat it up and you’ll have some hot chocolate! Hot chocolate to fight the cold, doesn’t that feel legit, and maybe you should add some marshmallows in too! Oh and don’t forget to melt a small bar of cadbury in. Tasty rich and chocolatey, yums! For the record, you’ve got some expiring chips (YES, chips does expire, I would know cause I’ve eaten loads of expired ones) in the cupboard too which you might want to clear now! You can eat some while you prep the food! GO FOR IT!”

Boy do I hate rainy days.

Thanks guys, for coming back, despite my very entertaining, or otherwise nonsensical post yesterday. I just really had to tell you about my nice Tiffany Green and Gold planner cause I spent 20 bucks on it. Pardon me. Anyway, so after receiving some feedbacks saying that my post yesterday was FAR TOO entertaining to catch any main point, I decided that maybe I should try writing something smarter today, something more serious, something that you’d have to actually google a lot to find the answer and you’re gonna be happy that you’ve found the answer here on this very post. Yes, I like making people happy.

Being a Theatre student, I suffered from loads of bruises and injuries. Im not sure if Im supposed to make associations like this, but its either cause Im a Theatre student, thats why I get bad bruising at every joint consistently, or Im just clumsy, or maybe its cause the teachers in my course work us like horses and punished us when we didn’t manage to fulfil their handstands/shoulder stands/cartwheels/complicated knee moves that involves falling on the floor and rolling faster than you can say Peek-a-Boo. Okay too much info on the last part. THATS NOT TRUE. My teachers are ANGELS. You get it don’t you?

Back to the point on bruises or orhcehs if you prefer that name. I think its important to share how I got a really bad one recently. It was a fine day in autumn, I remembered it was the cloudy rain season, and I was shopping at Vivocity, like happily shopping. If you’ve been there before, you’d know that that shopping centre is HUGE, like they’ve got really big spacious walkways that you can walk comfortably without shouldering anyone. Being a girl who pays attention to her surroundings while walking, I noticed a piece of bottle cap on the pathway, probably placed there kindly by some really nice guy or girl so that someone could pick it up and grin wide cause she realises that its a lucky cap that will win her the shopping mall’s big lucky draw prize of a 2 weeks trip at Europe. Im kidding about being attentive and about the lucky draw, sorry.

Anyway, you’re right! I stepped on the bottle cap, slipped, fell and landed hard on the knees. I thought to myself “Its okay, be strong, 在哪里跌倒就在哪里爬起来”! *awesome music plays*. Yes, my mum taught me well, thank you. I got up like instinctively, and did my supermodel hair flick and was like “HEY YOU DIDNT SEE ANYTHING. NOTHING HAPPENED” and strut off like a queen. That being said, the fall spoilt my mood for fall shopping though it didn’t hurt. I decided that I should probably drive back home and attend to it somehow. I think ending my shopping trip early was a good well-thought decision cause after 10 mins of finding the entrance to the right carpark and another 15 mins of finding my car, I realised that my knees started swelling and it really looked like a 小笼包 that got stuck under my skin. EEKS.

I went home and called my mum for help cause I was too lazy to google for “quick bruise remedies”. She told me that I should switch on the stove, put a pot of hot water over and start cooking eggs.. I was like why would you want me to cook eggs!!! but I did it anyway. She gave me specific instructions that it had to be hard-boiled ones. I was upset, cause she forgot that I preferred soft-boiled or scrambled eggs for breakfasts and lunch and even dinners. Sighs, mums… Anyway, I placed two eggs and started the boil. Took one out at 7 mins cause I REALLY PREFERRED runny yolks. I ate my yummilicious egg and left the other one to cook. While I was relishing my last drop of egg yolk, mum got home and took the other egg out of the pot. She told me to wrap it in a towel and rub it on my 小笼包. Okay, the rub was painful, but it felt good. The warmth and everything. After the rubbing ended, I felt like I should fully utilise the egg, especially since I spent quite a bit of energy screaming, so I took the egg out of the towel and started to de-shell it. The next ten minutes of my life involved mum SCREAMING at me. Point is, I didn’t get to eat it.

Mum said it was poisonous, toxic, she even said that the egg will get “hairy” WTF? Now Im imagining a hairy caveman-like humpty dumpty sitting on the wall…. I hate how my mind wanders off… Moving on.. So, how true is that statement mum said? Below will be some googled answers, if you key in “CAN YOU EAT THE EGG AFTER RUBBING IT ON A BRUISE?”

Okay. I think I should apologise.

Im sorry, I’d like to continue the search for nothing less than a scientific answer. But google gave me this:

Netizen A: I’m just curious on how come when you roll a cooked egg on a bruise, it removes the black & blue and is transferred to the egg.

Answer A: The pain is transfered from you to the chicken. Young chickens have been known to die this way.

(AH? Google why you like that!)

Answer B: My mom used to do this all the time to me when I was a kid. I don’t ever recall it working. She also said to put sugar on any cuts I had in my mouth. THAT was an awesome remedy. It didn’t work or anything, it was just awesome.

(Answer B, Your mum was a kind soul but she probably got it wrong. Mine asked me to put salt on ulcers, cuts, and any mouth wounds. It made it bleed. REAL BAD. So I guess it worked?)

Im sorry readers, I tried. I wanted to write something better this post, and to be a responsible blogger, so…. I did the search in Chinese too, assuming I’d get more answers!

Netizen A: 为什么揉过乌青的鸡蛋不能吃啊?

Answer A: 里边有黑暗的邪恶力量……

(啊, “我要代表月亮来惩罚你..”)

Answer B: 据说银饰可以吸收人体毒素，然后就会变黑, 鸡蛋就不知道.. 我自己说完这句话突然想到黑木耳难道是吸收了男体的….

(什么，没有这样讲到一半的啦～)

Crap, I honestly wanted a scientific answer, but google wasn’t much help. And now I have more questions… I know silver works probably due to oxidisation or some other process (I am not good in biology, and physics, and chemistry..) but whats up with black fungus and it sucking guys’ idunnowhat? What???? WHAT IS THE BLANK! I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE BLANKS.

Well, if you kinda know the RIGHT answer, or think you have the RIGHT answer, please do leave your comments and I’ll update it on my blog here. Like Im DYING TO KNOW really. Im talking about the egg question btw….

So, until I get a valid answer, for the time-being, I’d like you to just know that the reason why egg is used to “cure” orhcehs is cause of its very comfortable shape thats suited for your hand, round and soft enough to rub and more natural than ZAMBAK. They say you can’t eat the egg probably due to hygiene issues (unless you de-shell it after rubbing and wash it?) and err, cause you have another 11 eggs in the fridge, but if you’re dying to eat it after the rubbing session then just eat it (at your own risk) and let me know if you suffered any conditions from it.

Anyway, I received feedbacks about how pictures will likely make my post more interesting and increase viewership… So I decided to add random pictures of me and my breakfast this morning everywhere in this post.. Im amazed at the stupid poses and faces I can do with a hard-boiled egg. Heres another one for you:

Oh and I thought it’d be nice for you to know, I finished this blog after a session of jumping on trampolines! YAY no more bruises despite falling!

 

Right.. and whoever who left the bottle cap there in the shopping mall…..

GOD BLESS YOU.