“Im old already.” This sentence kind of pops up in my mind ALOT these days. Like how can I not? I see my dog stumbling and slipping and forever sleeping. Bailey is an old dog now and me? Definitely not young. Really. I finally understand what it means to be fatigue. I can no longer survive and work well after “tonning” the night for a sunrise. Ah, like who gives a damn to sunrises, I need my REST. How did I use to survive playing falling furniture in Habbo Hotel and doing party quests in Maplestory all the way till morning. HOW DID I EVER DO THAT! Oh, and I’d really like to assume my oldness is probably the cause of my recent gain of weight. Hey yo, my -usedtobedamngood- metabolism, you ARE SO failing me. Im upset really.
List of Signs You’re Probably Getting Old
1. You can no longer understand the art of tonning and the fun of wild drinking. Those just means fatigue, pukes and fatigue.
2. You need panadol after listening to loud rock music consecutively for 3 hours
3. You wear lesser shorts and buy more maxis, midis and long jeans.
4. You try to wear tights instead of FBTs when exercising. You don’t understand how you used to be so comfy wearing FBTS everywhere you go and rolled your eyes when your mum told you that they’re shorter than her underwear. KIDDIN.
5. You cook a pack of maggie and add ingredients in it instead of the cup ones with nothing – minimise the badness and enjoy the fragrance.
6. You get enticed by the words like “collagen”, “firm”, “lift”, “anti-aging”, “anti-wrinkle”, “supple”, “shaping”, “boost”,”non-fat”, “low-fat”. In short, everything thats anti-old, anti-fat and anti-ugly.
7. You appreciate genuine coffees and teas (GENUINE. Not freaking starbucks frappucinos. THATS a killer.)
8. You bid goodbye to Milo Dinosaurs and welcomed a drink called Teh O.
9. You start using Thermo Bottles. You’re surprised but you kinda prefer hot drinks now.
10. You start appreciating floral scents, floral tasting biscuits, floral ice creams, floral clothes, floral cardigans.. go Team Floral!
11. You go for less intense (or less exciting) exercises like Yoga or signed up at the Gym. For body building and for the hunks that is.
12. Salads now exists in your vocabulary.
13. You buy stuff from Isetan/Robinsons/Metro and start appreciating Uniqlo and MUJI.
14. No more backpacks unless you’re overseas or going for a hiking trip.
15. You look back and feel astonished by the time you wasted loitering outside doing nothing when you were in Secondary School. WHY OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO HOME AFTER TEN.. Karma hits! Now you want to go home by 6pm but you need to OT till after ten right right right..
16. You’re okay now with onions, shallots, gingers, spring onions, chili padi, garlic and other weird spices that you couldn’t even stand a freaking bite into. In fact, bring them on right now cause you’ve come to learn of their flavours and tastes.
17. You struggle to read this:
sup yo. 10Q 4 readin dis post. hru. I just wan 2 say hi and tht it ish so 1daful tht u read wat i rite. sowie tht smtym i upd8 so l8 cuz im nt on9 24/7 n deres TMSGO. bt its ok i knw u r v coo. ah! cd9! brb. mum bhind. ttyl. msg u whn bck.. afk..
bck. lmao my mum dam fun-e. she tink i got A 4 test. so stupiak. its tbh, it wld b 2g2bt la lolness. anw jtlyk i b gg dere str8 29, u dun b l8. cul8r @ *$ 6.30pm. imo tat guy tht alwaz go dere @7pm ish so qt. dunno if he gt SO alr nt. aiya dkdc but tink Jean lyk him 2. she alwz NATO tho n she keep sayin me n him will nt happen.. i wuz like MYOB lah.. WAS rite! ^5. sowie TMI. ROFL. nvm. IDGAD, YKWIM?
anw, lubu4eva. B4N k. XOXOZZZ.
18. You took more than 5 mins to read this.
19. You googled for some of the net lingos.
20. You think TISL. You hate me for including it and kinda regret reading this.