Okay.. I’ll try to be a little more intellectual.

Thanks guys, for coming back, despite my very entertaining, or otherwise nonsensical post yesterday. I just really had to tell you about my nice Tiffany Green and Gold planner cause I spent 20 bucks on it. Pardon me. Anyway, so after receiving some feedbacks saying that my post yesterday was FAR TOO entertaining to catch any main point, I decided that maybe I should try writing something smarter today, something more serious, something that you’d have to actually google a lot to find the answer and you’re gonna be happy that you’ve found the answer here on this very post. Yes, I like making people happy.

Being a Theatre student, I suffered from loads of bruises and injuries. Im not sure if Im supposed to make associations like this, but its either cause Im a Theatre student, thats why I get bad bruising at every joint consistently, or Im just clumsy, or maybe its cause the teachers in my course work us like horses and punished us when we didn’t manage to fulfil their handstands/shoulder stands/cartwheels/complicated knee moves that involves falling on the floor and rolling faster than you can say Peek-a-Boo. Okay too much info on the last part. THATS NOT TRUE. My teachers are ANGELS. You get it don’t you?

Back to the point on bruises or orhcehs if you prefer that name. I think its important to share how I got a really bad one recently. It was a fine day in autumn, I remembered it was the cloudy rain season, and I was shopping at Vivocity, like happily shopping. If you’ve been there before, you’d know that that shopping centre is HUGE, like they’ve got really big spacious walkways that you can walk comfortably without shouldering anyone. Being a girl who pays attention to her surroundings while walking, I noticed a piece of bottle cap on the pathway, probably placed there kindly by some really nice guy or girl so that someone could pick it up and grin wide cause she realises that its a lucky cap that will win her the shopping mall’s big lucky draw prize of a 2 weeks trip at Europe. Im kidding about being attentive and about the lucky draw, sorry.

Anyway, you’re right! I stepped on the bottle cap, slipped, fell and landed hard on the knees. I thought to myself “Its okay, be strong, 在哪里跌倒就在哪里爬起来”! *awesome music plays*. Yes, my mum taught me well, thank you. I got up like instinctively, and did my supermodel hair flick and was like “HEY YOU DIDNT SEE ANYTHING. NOTHING HAPPENED” and strut off like a queen. That being said, the fall spoilt my mood for fall shopping though it didn’t hurt. I decided that I should probably drive back home and attend to it somehow. I think ending my shopping trip early was a good well-thought decision cause after 10 mins of finding the entrance to the right carpark and another 15 mins of finding my car, I realised that my knees started swelling and it really looked like a 小笼包 that got stuck under my skin. EEKS.

I went home and called my mum for help cause I was too lazy to google for “quick bruise remedies”. She told me that I should switch on the stove, put a pot of hot water over and start cooking eggs.. I was like why would you want me to cook eggs!!! but I did it anyway. She gave me specific instructions that it had to be hard-boiled ones. I was upset, cause she forgot that I preferred soft-boiled or scrambled eggs for breakfasts and lunch and even dinners. Sighs, mums… Anyway, I placed two eggs and started the boil. Took one out at 7 mins cause I REALLY PREFERRED runny yolks. I ate my yummilicious egg and left the other one to cook. While I was relishing my last drop of egg yolk, mum got home and took the other egg out of the pot. She told me to wrap it in a towel and rub it on my 小笼包. Okay, the rub was painful, but it felt good. The warmth and everything. After the rubbing ended, I felt like I should fully utilise the egg, especially since I spent quite a bit of energy screaming, so I took the egg out of the towel and started to de-shell it. The next ten minutes of my life involved mum SCREAMING at me. Point is, I didn’t get to eat it.

Mum said it was poisonous, toxic, she even said that the egg will get “hairy” WTF? Now Im imagining a hairy caveman-like humpty dumpty sitting on the wall…. I hate how my mind wanders off… Moving on.. So, how true is that statement mum said? Below will be some googled answers, if you key in “CAN YOU EAT THE EGG AFTER RUBBING IT ON A BRUISE?”

Okay. I think I should apologise.

Im sorry, I’d like to continue the search for nothing less than a scientific answer. But google gave me this:

Netizen A: I’m just curious on how come when you roll a cooked egg on a bruise, it removes the black & blue and is transferred to the egg.

Answer A: The pain is transfered from you to the chicken. Young chickens have been known to die this way.

(AH? Google why you like that!)

Answer B: My mom used to do this all the time to me when I was a kid. I don’t ever recall it working. She also said to put sugar on any cuts I had in my mouth. THAT was an awesome remedy. It didn’t work or anything, it was just awesome.

(Answer B, Your mum was a kind soul but she probably got it wrong. Mine asked me to put salt on ulcers, cuts, and any mouth wounds. It made it bleed. REAL BAD. So I guess it worked?)

Im sorry readers, I tried. I wanted to write something better this post, and to be a responsible blogger, so…. I did the search in Chinese too, assuming I’d get more answers!

Netizen A: 为什么揉过乌青的鸡蛋不能吃啊?

Answer A: 里边有黑暗的邪恶力量……

(啊, “我要代表月亮来惩罚你..”)

Answer B: 据说银饰可以吸收人体毒素,然后就会变黑, 鸡蛋就不知道.. 我自己说完这句话突然想到黑木耳难道是吸收了男体的….

(什么,没有这样讲到一半的啦~)

Crap, I honestly wanted a scientific answer, but google wasn’t much help. And now I have more questions… I know silver works probably due to oxidisation or some other process (I am not good in biology, and physics, and chemistry..) but whats up with black fungus and it sucking guys’ idunnowhat? What???? WHAT IS THE BLANK! I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE BLANKS.

Well, if you kinda know the RIGHT answer, or think you have the RIGHT answer, please do leave your comments and I’ll update it on my blog here. Like Im DYING TO KNOW really. Im talking about the egg question btw….

So, until I get a valid answer, for the time-being, I’d like you to just know that the reason why egg is used to “cure” orhcehs is cause of its very comfortable shape thats suited for your hand, round and soft enough to rub and more natural than ZAMBAK. They say you can’t eat the egg probably due to hygiene issues (unless you de-shell it after rubbing and wash it?) and err, cause you have another 11 eggs in the fridge, but if you’re dying to eat it after the rubbing session then just eat it (at your own risk) and let me know if you suffered any conditions from it.

Anyway, I received feedbacks about how pictures will likely make my post more interesting and increase viewership… So I decided to add random pictures of me and my breakfast this morning everywhere in this post.. Im amazed at the stupid poses and faces I can do with a hard-boiled egg. Heres another one for you:

Oh and I thought it’d be nice for you to know, I finished this blog after a session of jumping on trampolines! YAY no more bruises despite falling!

IMG_20170426_181236_mh1493202227994

 

Right.. and whoever who left the bottle cap there in the shopping mall…..

GOD BLESS YOU.

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